Nanny-Part IV

So we are "nanny-less" AGAIN as of today :( I really liked Nanny #4--she was efficient, learned fast, was good with the kids, understands English, and was quite a nice person. I started to get quite comfortable with this nanny. In fact, I started to think that she was getting to the level of my old beloved nanny (i.e. able to multi-task, be trusted with 2 kids, etc.).

Well, enter the "weirdness" factor....AN OBSESSIVE BOYFRIEND. Let's call him PB, short for "Psycho Boy". No, I'm NOT exaggerating...You must read on to agree that this person deserves this nickname. I met PB on the day we hired our nanny at the agency. He seemed normal enough so I didn't think anything of it. In fact, I was kind of happy because he is this Mexican guy and has that Latin connection with David.

I guess PB kind of freaked out that he wouldn't be seeing my nanny for 2 weeks since she was supposed to be off every other weekend. My nanny did admit (after I hired her) that this guy is a VERY jealous person. He is jealous with E V E R Y B O D Y (real and imagined). If someone at the store looks at my nanny, he is jealous. If my nanny is talking to ANY guy (whether old or young), he is jealous. When David heard this, he nearly laughed becasue the lady isn't exactly a beauty queen. Anyway, she also admitted that PB was abusive toward her (i.e. had beat her, etc.)--umm...why she was still with him is a question that she really couldn't answer. If she weren't that good of a nanny, I probably would've let her go because I seriously didn't want to get involved. But I wanted to give her a chance and really hoped that this problem wouldn't be a hindrance to her good work thus far.

So, anyhow, PB obsessively started calling my nanny on her cellphone (like every 20 minutes), and when she didn't answer, he started to call my house, even at 10:30 AT NIGHT when the kids were sleeping (what the @#$!#$?!!)

Below are a few examples of my conversation with PB... I was seriously getting upset for having to talk to him so often. My nanny asked me to do that because PB did not trust her at all and wanted "proof" that she was telling the truth by having me validate it for him. What a dysfunctional relationship!@#$

1. Could he please drop off some "important" stuff for her? Like the $1.25 bus card that he bought for her and just HAD to give it to her that day. Umm...NO!!! My policy is not to allow people dropping by on and off to our place, unless it's critical and cannot wait until the nanny's time off. Honestly, he only wanted to do this to check up on her (my nanny told me that). And I sure as heck DID NOT want some psycho guy to be coming over my house!!

2. How about phone calls, he asked? I said, sure, but within reason. I told him that I had to let the other 2 nannies go because they were doing too many personal phone calls during work hours. He can call her AT HER CELLPHONE at night (after work) or in the morning (before work). And PLEASE DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE ever again if my nanny doesn't answer his calls--I made that quite clear to PB. I also told my nanny that if he did that again, I would have to let her go.

3. How about allowing my nanny to go out at night? H*LL NO! See reason #1. This is a LIVE-IN position. She was WORKING here, not hanging out at her friend's house, for goodness sake!

So we had a few days of "quiet" time without PB interfering with our routine. My nanny called him at 5AM every morning and 9PM every night and talked for 2 hours each time.

Until yesterday...I went with the kids and my nanny to Corona to pick up my parents. My nanny gave a call from PB to me because apparently he didn't believe that she was there with me. He accused her of going back to work with her old boss (whom he was very jealous of; the old boss is like my nanny's SON's age for goodness sake!). I grudgingly talked to PB and I thought that was that. When we were going home in the evening, I got a call from David who was home from work saying that he saw a plastic bag of stuff at our door (like soap, shampoo, etc.). I knew immediately that it must have been PB who dropped that stuff off.

PB confirmed that it was indeed him who did that and claimed that he just wanted to drop by so he could inform my nanny of the bus schedule since she was leaving for the weekend the next day. David and I were sooo..angry!@# We explicitly told this guy that he was not to come to our house and he did. He did this blatantly, and he knew that we were not home. At that moment, we decided that it was just not safe to keep this nanny around. What if PB showed up while we were out (the nanny with the kids) and asked to come in? This lady had not been able to stand up for herself so far and it was doubtful to us that she would anytime soon. It was also obvious that this psycho had no regard whatsoever to whatever we asked him not to do.

So we told the nanny that today (Friday) was to be her last day. I was going to take her home to her daughter's house at 5PM. I told her how sorry I was to do this because I really, really liked her. I also told her that I was very concerned for her safety. One of my previous coworkers actually got killed by her abusive husband last year and left her 3 young kids abandoned :( My nanny just cried and kept saying that she was sorry for all the trouble PB had caused us.

I decided to call my nanny's daughter, just to make sure that she knew of the dangerous situation her mom was in. I had met her daughter when I picked up my nanny on her first day of work. It wasn't until I talked to her daughter that I got the shocking full story...She said that she had tried several times to help her mom get away from PB, however, her mom KEPT COMING BACK to him (Huh?! Eeekkk....!!). One time, her mom just sort of disappeared (no phone calls, no notifications) while she was working as a nanny elsewhere. Her daughter was very worried, tore through her belongings, found PB's address, and asked the police to bring her mom home. PB and her mom showed up at the daughter's place for about 5 minutes, then left again TOGETHER. Police couldn't really do anything because the mom claimed she had not been harmed and then willingly left with PB again. Another time, the daughter picked her mom up from PB's house (more like tried to rescue her). When she locked her car doors to prevent her mom from running back to PB, her mom actually threatened to jump out of the moving car @#$%! The daughter even brought her father from Indonesia to try and talk some sense into her mom, but her mom ran away from her home and stayed with PB. She even offered to bring her mom back to Indonesia, and was willing to leave with her for good (in case PB threatened to hurt her family), but her mom refused! So basically, the daughter said that she really couldn't help her mom because the mom didn't want to be helped! Eeeekkksss.....after hearing this story, I was really glad that we had already decided to let her go. It is obvious that this nanny was also "problematic" herself (to say the least!). David says that some women are drawn to guys like PB like a moth to a flame. I guess that she's a good example.

So this morning, my nanny received calls from PB. She let the phone ring and ring (about 20 times) and completely ignored it. PB then called my house, which I ignored because I really didn't want to speak to this psycho any longer. David had just left home for work when all of a sudden, PB SHOWED UP AT OUR FRONT DOOR!!!

I just knew that he has been stalking my house for a while (proven by his earlier phone calls). I didn't open the door, of course, and spoke to him from the office window. He was very belligerent and demanded us to call "his wife" out. I told him that he was not welcomed here and for him to leave immediately. He kept saying that since she no longer worked for me, he had the right to take her with him. I was sooo...scared. For all I know, he was carrying some sort of weapon in his backpack. I threatened to call 911, and he threatened me back and said that he was the one who would call 911 if we didn't want to call "his wife" out. He immediately ran to the sidewalk after this (I guess because he didn't want to "trespass" to my property). At that point, I was sure that I wanted to kick the nanny out ASAP. She came out to speak to him briefly, went inside to pack while quietly crying, signed some paperwork to get her salary for the 11 days she worked for, then left bringing all of her bags with this psycho. He didn't even have a car (poor trash!) and they walked together to the bus stop.

I immediately called the nanny's daughter to inform her of the situation. I was just so grateful that my parents were there, and not just me and the kids. David was furious when I called and told him what happened. He was sure that PB waited until he left for work. Anyways, I'm glad that it ended that way. It certainly could've been worse! So, back to the drawing board to find a good and decent nanny (again) (sigh.....).